Rewrite your Story

There was a wonderful episode of Oprah’s “Lifeclass” recently that focused on the stories we tell ourselves about our lives.  In this segment, Iyanla Vansant talked about how we keep ourselves stuck by re-telling the same story about our life, over and over, based on our past experiences.  By doing so, we actually “hypnotize” ourselves into believing the adversity, challenges or errors of our past are still potent today, breathing life into our present realities.  Nothing could be further from the truth or more damaging to our present-day existence.

What is your “story”?   Is that terrible childhood, that difficult divorce from many years ago, still taking place in your life through your story?  Do you identify yourself, the self that is real and present in the moment, with the character/person you were when these events took place?  If so, it’s time to rewrite your story to represent the truth of who you are and what you are experiencing in the present.  Old hurts, old wounds, past mistakes are not who you are and are not representative of where your life is heading.  They are only experiences that happened at one point in time, and have ceased to exist in the moment.  Conversely, the stories we may tell ourselves and others about “former glory” may not have a place in our lives either.  While rehashing stories of our former victories, our former shining moments are certainly enjoyable, they may not quite fit with who we are in the present or where we are heading.  Hold onto the positive memories, but don’t allow them to eclipse the new and wonderful things you can create for yourself.

What can be more damaging than the stories we tell ourselves, are the stories we allow others to tell for us.  My mother, for example, lived most of life overshadowed by fear … fear of the unknown, fear of the known, and fear of the possibilities.  The bigger and brighter path was never one encouraged for me, perhaps not as much to be detrimental, but more so to be protective.  My mother believed comfort and security came in never shining too brightly and keeping your life within a small, familiar circle. That was one of her stories.  She tried to imprint many of her stories upon me, which isn’t so unusual in the realm of motherhood, but can be damaging to a child if the stories being imposed are not of a positive and uplifting nature.  While I realize she only did what she knew how to do at the time, with the resources available to her, it’s essential to never embrace another person’s story as your own.

One of the sillier but negative stories my mother projected upon  me when I was younger was that I was that I somehow lacked physical coordination.  I never quite understood where it originated or why, since as a child I always excelled in school sports, being on the front line in gym class, playing kickball and softball with solid eye-hand coordination.  But somewhere along the way, my mother began her insight of  “Oh Karen isn’t coordinated” or “Karen can’t do that or that activity.”  When I was young, I internalized this, allowing this particular story seep-in, becoming confused and erroneously thinking “If this is true, will I hurt myself if I attempt this activity?”  It wasn’t until I reached my mid-thirties and became an avid runner during that time period that I realized there was absolutely no truth in the story she had projected upon me and that I had always been a physically strong person, capable of hitting my mark. Why she established this story, I’ll never know, but once I realized this wasn’t my story, it vanished from my life.

Think about this: The cells in the human body regenerate themselves in their entirety every seven years.  There isn’t any cell in your body that exists past a certain period in time, so ask yourself … why should your former story?  Your personal story, your truth, shifts, changes and regenerates throughout your lifetime.  Don’t stay stuck in the past of what was then and isn’t now.  Change your story to represent the truth of now embrace the power that is in the moment.